Finding Ryan in My Wallet (Eight Years After the Funeral)

As I thumbed my last five
from between wrinkled receipts and
a two dollar lottery ticket
I had a revelation:
this wallet,
this folded pocket of personal affects
and pulverized plastic
was a six-by-three
leather spine shifting
parasite.

And so -
with personal health always a concern -
I proceeded to operate:
removing
Blockbuster and CVS
buy-one-get-one coffee
and credit cards
that only cause trouble
until
between a love note
and Emily’s photograph
I found you –

exactly as you told me
to remember you
(except, of course, in black and white)
but still young
and happy
and living
and here.

I must have cut this Kodak
moment to wallet size
eight years ago
when it was the only thing
left to do
once your mom said you
were gone.